Archive for the ‘Plain Language’ Category

I spent a day recently doing some coaching for one of my favourite clients. I had appointments with eight people. It was a diverse group–from finance to IT, and from junior to senior.  Some write reports to the executive team, and some write brief emails to each other. Some are technical writers, some write letters. Every person I met brought in a sample of their writing, and even though their writing was so different, I found myself saying the same things to each one of them: “Consider your reader—what information will they need? How will they want to see it presented? Why does your reader need this information? How can you present your message in a way that makes it easy for them to take their next step?”

Examples of what I saw at the follow-up session, and how these questions affected their revisions:

An email to a consultant asking a series of questions about a technical process. The first draft was a casual, rambling stream of consciousness, in which the writer asked a question, then adds a couple more that come to mind while he is writing. The fix: revise the opening of the message to explain you have 3 questions about the ABC process, number the questions clearly, and then update the subject line (maybe “Three questions about ABC”) to let the reader know what to expect. The reader then can easily embed the answers into the original message. It takes only a few minutes for the writer to revise, and saves the reader time and frustration.

An email to a supplier about coordinating an event. The email contains three small questions, and confirms another piece of information. Instead of one email to the reader containing everything, write four separate emails. Why? If you separate the different questions, requests and information into separate emails, the reader can respond quickly where possible. If you don’t have ready answers to every question in a multi-issue email, it’s easy to sit on it until you have everything you need. Better to answer what you can quickly. It’s also easier to file and retrieve information that is clearly labeled and not buried in an email with a useless subject line, like “Information” or “Follow up.”

A technical report recommending a change of software to manage a vital business process. The original document is well organized with all the key information a decision maker would need in the Executive Summary. The only problem is it’s very technical and studded with acronyms. The decision makers are the Board Members, who are unfamiliar with your jargon. The solution: assume your readers are ignorant, but not stupid. Avoid using technical language they might not understand, especially acronyms. Using acronyms might save you a few keystrokes and buy you credibility with your colleagues, but they frustrate readers who aren’t familiar with them. The solution: use the acronyms in your draft, then use the Find/Replace function in MS Word to spell them out. Even better, instead of an acronym, use a descriptive term, like the Agreement, or the Enterprise System.

A letter to a lawyer describing your analysis of a problem and the next steps you will take. This writer (a charming guy) had abandoned his earlier legalese style (yay!) but had rebounded to extremely spare prose, thinking the opposite of a legalese style is one that was condensed to the point where it felt dehydrated. The solution: relax, use a conversational style and tell the reader a story—what you did, what you found, and what you have done as a result. Unpack it, expand it, be conversational. The letter is a record, part of a file, and needs to tell its chapter of the story clearly.

Documentation of a change to proprietary software. The changes were listed on the page in separate paragraphs. What was missing was any context—the document needed a title and an introduction, so a reader who picks it up now or in the future knows why and when the changes were made. It also would help to number the changes themselves so they could be scanned quickly and referenced easily.

What impressed me about the day was how different each of the documents I reviewed was from each other. The revisions were different too. What was the same was the thinking process and questions that helped my learners see ways to improve their writing.

Take a look at something you wrote recently. Now put yourself in the place of your reader. Consider for a moment what their prior knowledge is, why they need to read your message, what they will do with it, and how you can best present it to make their job easier. What changes would you make?

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You know how this one ends: “…or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at your earliest convenience.”

The purpose of this sentence is to show sincerity and invite your reader to interact with you. But it does just the opposite. Instead of reading this closing as sincere, readers recognize it for what it is: a cliché that is overused and meaningless. It’s a lazy way of closing a letter and shows readers they are not special. And even though (especially if) your readers use it themselves, they recognize it for what it is: a cop out.

At one time, I used to argue that this closing was redundant, that by now readers KNOW they can ask questions or share concerns—no need to tell them. Further, they will feel encouraged to respond with a question or comment if the whole tone of the letter or email is warm and conversational. If they sense a real person behind the writing, they will feel connected and comfortable responding. Still, most people feel the need to close their correspondence with an explicit invitation to interact.

If you must have such a closing, at least make it engaging. Write what you would comfortably say to your reader, given your relationship. Here are some reasonable options, in no special order:

• Please call me if you have any questions.
• Let me know if you need more information.
• Give me a shout if you have any questions.
• Questions? Call me.
• I look forward to hearing your comments.

How about you? What closing are you comfortable with?

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By Christine Fischer Guy

Whenever we’re talking plain language in the writing classroom, the word ‘professional’ eventually makes an appearance, and it’s usually something along these lines: ‘But it doesn’t sound professional!’

I’m always heartened when a writer has this concern because I know that he or she is taking language and communication seriously. With that kind of focus, the battle for professionalism has already been won: you’re bound to find a plain style that suits you and conveys your skill, integrity, and commitment to your work.

But let’s take a minute to consider what it means to be professional, because the word is often confused with formal. Professional is a behaviour, not a writing style. A professional

• Acts with integrity
• Responds to situations in a timely, skilful, and respectful manner
• Communicates with sensitivity to the context and audience

It’s this last point that matters most when you’re considering the move to a plainer writing style, because in general, a formal writing style belongs to a context that no longer exists. We don’t address one another as ‘Mr. Smith’ or ‘Mrs. Green’ any longer, and nor are we wearing three-piece suits and pantyhose. Society in general is more relaxed, informal, and approachable. A customer can write directly to a company president (and expect an answer!) So why write in a style that belongs to a bygone era? It makes sense to use a warmer, more conversational style that conveys a modern organization willing to move with the times.

That’s not to say that you’ll never want to use a formal, cooler tone. If a situation demands distance, whether because of the content of the message or for an audience that prefers an arms-length relationship, you always have that option. But let a plainer style dominate and you’ll warm up your relationships, convey a modern image, and continue to be the professional that you already are.

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If you think using big words will impress, you are wrong.

Daniel Oppenheimer’s 2006 study “Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with using long words needlessly,” (which won the Ig Nobel Prize) concludes that people who use complicated language when simple words will do tend to be viewed as less intelligent than those who use a more basic vocabulary.

This doesn’t mean you should forget all those big words you know. “I think it’s important to point out that this study is not about problems with using long words, it’s about problems with using long words needlessly,” Oppenheimer explains. “If the best way to say something involves using a complex word, then by all means do so. But if there are several equally valid ways of expressing your ideas, you should go with the simpler one.”

Here is an example of two sentences used in the study. Readers were asked to rate the intelligence of each writer.

“The primary academic goal I have set for myself is to use my potential to the fullest.”

“The principal educational aspiration I have established for myself is to utilize my capabilities to the fullest.”

The results: When people read simpler language, they actually rate the author’s intelligence higher than they do those who write using large words and a more complex sentence structure. Oppenheimer suspects people link intelligence with simpler language because we like to read things that are easy to understand.

So if we see others who use simple language as more intelligent, why do so many feel they are demonstrating their own intelligence by using big words?

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We love language – it’s a living thing that constantly changes. Here are some neologisms (new words) we found recently:

Deskfast
A breakfast eaten at your desk.

Word of mouse
Communication via computer-based means, such as email, chat rooms or newsgroups.

Adminisphere
The layers in an organization’s hierarchy that sit above the rank and file.

These new words will reflect something of today’s cultural context to future historians, just as the words we inherit carry traces of their own history.

For those of you who are curious about where English comes from, here is a very brief and overly simplified history of the English language. Apologies to any linguists out there.

The earliest version of English was Anglo-Saxon, a proto-Germanic language. Although only about 5,000 Anglo-Saxon words survive in Modern English, they are the words we most commonly use.

Anglo-Saxon: water, hair, blood, mother, and the verbs to be, to have and to go

English developed by borrowing words from cultures it came in contact with. For instance,

In the 9th century, England was invaded three times by the Vikings (Norse), and they left some colourful words we continue to use today:

Norse: anger, ill, ransack, slaughter, knife

In 1066, the Normans invaded England, and subsequently French became the official language – certainly among the elite at court. Roughly half the words in Modern English are borrowed from French.

French: government, sermon, judge, crime, physician, fashion, literature, music

After that, Greek and Latin became the traditional languages of high culture and ‘classical’ education. English adopted many Latin and Greek words, and many of them form our medical and legal vocabulary.

Latin: annual, minimum, malice, malady, vocal, export, pedestrian, ignite

Greek: archeology, biography, aerobic, bureaucrat, monopoly, stethoscope

Where will tomorrow’s words come from?

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Sometimes our participants ask for a simple, concrete way to measure the readability of their writing. The Fog Index, below, is one such measurement tool. It was developed by Robert Gunning in the 1950s. Here’s how it works:

Find the average number of words per sentence. Use a sample of at least 100 words. Divide the total number of words by the number of sentences. This gives you the average sentence length.

Count the number of words of three syllables or more per 100 words. Don’t count

• Words that are capitalized
• Compound words made by combining short easy words, like bookkeeper
• Verbs that are made into three syllables by adding ed or es, like created or trespasses

Add the two figures above and multiply by 0.4. This will give you the Fog Index. It corresponds roughly with the years of schooling a person must have to read a passage with ease and understanding.

Please keep in mind that readability is about more than getting an appropriate score on your Fog Index. It also depends on

• knowing your reader’s prior knowledge and needs,
• creating a bond by choosing an appropriate tone, and
• reviewing what you write and seeing it from the reader’s point of view.

Gunning himself writes,

“You can’t make rules about writing, because rules are a substitute for thought – and you can’t write without thinking. Therefore, don’t try to write by formula alone….The way to write clearly is to apply principles, not rules, of clear statement.

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Thanks to the Internet and email, customers can reach you from all over the world. If you write emails to your global customers in English, it’s a good idea to avoid using idioms – words or phrases whose meanings are not understood from the individual words themselves.
For instance we understand what “spread ourselves too thin” means, but someone not familiar with this expression, or idiom, might be confused by it. Other examples of idioms include:

24/7
give the green light
a win-win
on the go
across the board
rain check
bend over backwards
right up our alley
brand new
think outside the box
fall through the cracks
touch base

Instead of using idioms, substitute a more literal expression.

For instance, instead of writing or saying, “I agree the session was Mickey Mouse,” write “I agree the session was poorly run.”

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by Jody Bruner

Here’s a tip that will dramatically improve your writing, especially when you are writing to a reader you don’t know  or to a large number of unknown readers.  In these situations, the message is often hard to understand because we tend to assume too much prior knowledge on the reader’s part and there is no personal connection.

The tip is simple–conjure up an ideal reader and write to that person. The writing will flow more easily and you will be more aware of the assumptions you make about the reader’s prior knowledge. Your message will be more easily understood and you will make a personal connection.

The best kind of ideal reader is someone you know, but who is not an expert in your field. I have two ideal readers, for different situations. My first reader is my neighbour Erin. She is a busy mom with three small girls. She is bright and has no time for beating around the bush. I think of Erin when I write emails or short letters. Picturing her in my mind helps me get to the point and explain everything clearly and concisely.

My second ideal reader is my friend Selma. Selma is an academic. I know she has a deep curiosity about just about everything and a great deal of patience. She is willing to dig deep into a topic, however technical it is. Selma is very smart, with very specialized knowledge. I know I have to be careful about assuming too much prior knowledge. I need to explain things thoroughly. I think of Selma when I need to write something technical or complex.

When you are writing to many readers, even thousands, it’s important to remember that each reader is an individual. Conjure up the face of your ideal reader and you’ll be amazed at how much easier it is to write and at how easy it is to strike a friendly, engaging tone.

Who is your ideal reader?

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