The Washington Post organizes a contest in which readers are asked to supply new meanings for old words. Here are some winning entries:

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.