Posts Tagged ‘negative tone’

This email is sick, and not in a good way. Its tone does nothing to encourage my compliance. Instead it makes me angry. Try rewriting it—make it positive, reader centred, friendly and persuasive.

Subject: Portable Signs

As you are all aware, portable signs are becoming the norm, yet this act stands in blatant contravention of the lease agreement. We are no longer willing to turn a bind eye to this total disregard of the rules and regulations set by the landlord.

We ask that all illegal signs be removed by September 15, 2010. Be aware that any signs found on the property after this date will be removed. All costs incurred in this exercise will be for the account of the offending party.

If you require a portable sign in the future, please contact Phil Roche at 555-1212. Phil will approve signs for a maximum period of two weeks. We remind all tenants that signage is still available on the building pylon sign.

Send your rewrite directly to me by email to jody@brunerbiz.com.

Good luck!