Posts Tagged ‘Plain Language’

I love dancing and would never decline this invitation, especially if you ask like Yul Brynner. It wouldn’t hurt if you come with your own ballroom either.

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But under any other circumstances, shall makes me wince. It’s a word that makes you sound either foreign (not necessarily a bad thing) or pretentious and archaic (not a good thing). Shall is used in England and in law.

English use

In England, shall can express the simple future for first person I and we, as in “Shall we have dinner together tonight?” Will is used in the simple future for all other persons. Using will in the first person expresses a bit more determination on the part of the speaker, as in “We will finish this project by tonight, by golly!” Using shall in second and third persons would indicate some kind of promise about the subject, as in “This shall be revealed to you in good time.”

If you use shall this way in Canada or the US, you write with an accent. It’s not a word we use. On this continent, we use will for the future simple tense.

Legal use

Lawyers love to use shall, but the plain language community recommends avoiding it. According to Prof. Joe Kimble of the Thomas Cooley Law School, lawyers regularly misuse it to mean something other than “has a duty to.” It has become so corrupted by misuse that it has no firm meaning.

Also, it’s not plain. Nobody uses shall in common speech. It’s one more example of unnecessary lawyer talk. You’d never hear, “You shall finish the project in a week.”

And from Plain Language, the US government site: The word “must” is the clearest way to convey to your readers that they have to do something. Shall is one of those officious and obsolete words that has encumbered legal style writing for many years. The message that shall sends to the reader is, “this is deadly material.” Shall is also obsolete–when was the last time you heard it used in everyday speech?

Besides being outdated, shall is imprecise. It can indicate either an obligation or a prediction. Dropping shall is a major step in making your document more reader-friendly. Don’t be intimidated by the argument that using must will lead to a lawsuit. Many agencies already use the word must to convey obligations. The US Courts are eliminating shall in favor of must in their Rules of Procedure.  And in Canada, British Columbia, Alberta and Manitoba have amended their Interpretation Acts to say that must is to be interpreted as imperative.

The way I see it, dancing is imperative, and shall is not. Shall we dance?

I tolerate semicolons in some places—academic writing, essays, literature, or journalism. But in business documents, where they have no place, they seriously annoy me. Here’s why:

1. Semicolons are too vague, too wishy washy. All other marks are assertive and clear in how they order and clarify ideas. The semicolon, used as a soft break is more subtle, more intimate. In Semicolon Slut Dorinne Jenette writes

The semicolon is the seal, still warm, of Eros on written language. It signifies union by a grammatical invitation to intimacy; the semicolon is the shared blush of a successful seduction. As with all seductions, the relationships between clauses joined by semicolons are ambiguous; this is not the punctuation of hierarchy, but of nuance.

Okay, who can resist that? And here’s a gorgeous excerpt from Evelyn Waugh’s Brideshead Revisited:

“’I have been here before,’ I said; I had been there before; first with Sebastian more than twenty years ago on a cloudless day in June, when the ditches were white with fool’s parsley and meadowsweet and the air heavy with all the scents of summer; it was a day of peculiar splendour such as our climate affords once or twice a year, when leaf and flower and bird and sun-lit stone and shadow seem all to proclaim the glory of god; and though I had been there so often, in so many moods, it was to that first visit that my heart returned on this, my latest.”

It’s hard to imagine this passage punctuated with any other mark. Periods would be too abrupt and em dashes too perky. The semicolons give the sentence the soft dreaminess that makes it so magical.

But don’t be seduced. This kind of effect is NOT suited to business writing. Business writers are impatient and purposeful. They’re not reading for pleasure or entertainment—that’s what fiction or poetry is for. Rather, they need you to give them information so they can use it. Most business messages are clear and simple, and writers often feel a strong need to puff them up. Resist!—keep things simple, clear and plain.

2. Semicolons are old fashioned. They make me think of English manors, of lords smoking pipes and wearing smoking jackets for fun. Who wants such stodginess in their writing? Who wants to do business with such bores? Semicolon users long for the good old days, when live was gentler, slower, happier and sepia toned. This is a fantasy. Life was never better, maybe different.

3. Semicolons are not conversational. Who talks with semicolons? Maybe this point reveals my preference for American style writing, which Ian Jack of The Guardian says, “comes closer to the way people speak than British writing.” And in Pause Celebre Trevor Butterworth says that semicolon appears much more commonly in British journalism than in American. Butterworth says American prefer plainness and clarity, and believes that language should do hold up a mirror to the world. He attributes this tendency to generations brought up on the philosophy of Strunk and White and quotes Ben Yagoda saying Struck and White’s “implicit and sometimes explicit goal is a transparent prose, where the writing exists solely  to serve the meaning, and no trace of the author—no mannerisms, no voice, no individual style—should remain.”

Even without the semicolon, personality leaves its mark. With too much personality and too many semicolons, the reader gets distracted from the message. And in business writing, it’s all about the message.

3. People use them to show off. Using semicolons correctly is a bit like giving a secret handshake. If I come across one used correctly, I always tip my hat to the writer—they’re part of the same club as me. But this is snobbery, and the only benefit of being a snob is being able to elevate yourself at someone else’s expense. Good for you if you know how to use them, better if you choose not to. Kurt Vonnegut says it better than I can:

“If you really want to hurt your parents, and you don’t have the nerve to be a homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts. But do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites, standing for absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.”

(See more Kurt Vonnegut quotes.)

4. Hardly anyone uses them correctly. I read a lot of writing and only 10% of writers it right. (Okay, I made that statistic up, but it feels right.) Beware of Microsoft’s grammar checker—it will direct you to use semicolons in all kinds of embarrassing ways. When you use a semicolon, for your own credibility, use it correctly. If you’re not sure you’re using it correctly, avoid it.

5. They can always be avoided. It’s always gratuitous, never necessary. There is always a way to work around it with either a period, a conjunction or an em dash. The only time you ever need it is when you use it to separate items in a list when any one of the list items contains internal punctuation, such as commas. Even then, you can use a bulleted list and open punctuation.

Final words

“No semicolons. Semicolons indicate relationships that only idiots need defined by punctuation. Besides, they are ugly.”—Richard Hugo

“Let me be plain: the semi-colon is ugly, ugly as a tick on a dog’s belly. I pinch them out of my prose.”—Donald Barthelme

“They are more powerful more imposing more pretentious than a comma but they are a comma all the same. They really have within them deeply within them fundamentally within them the comma nature.”—Gertrude Stein

“I use it. I’ve no feelings about it—it’s just there. People actually get worked up about that kind of shite, do they? I don’t f***ing believe it. They should get a f***ing life or a proper job. They’ve got too much time on their hands, to think about nonsense.”—Irvine Welsh

How about you–love it? Hate it? Or maybe you’re normal and couldn’t care less.

By Christine Fischer Guy

Whenever we’re talking plain language in the writing classroom, the word ‘professional’ eventually makes an appearance, and it’s usually something along these lines: ‘But it doesn’t sound professional!’

I’m always heartened when a writer has this concern because I know that he or she is taking language and communication seriously. With that kind of focus, the battle for professionalism has already been won: you’re bound to find a plain style that suits you and conveys your skill, integrity, and commitment to your work.

But let’s take a minute to consider what it means to be professional, because the word is often confused with formal. Professional is a behaviour, not a writing style. A professional

• Acts with integrity
• Responds to situations in a timely, skilful, and respectful manner
• Communicates with sensitivity to the context and audience

It’s this last point that matters most when you’re considering the move to a plainer writing style, because in general, a formal writing style belongs to a context that no longer exists. We don’t address one another as ‘Mr. Smith’ or ‘Mrs. Green’ any longer, and nor are we wearing three-piece suits and pantyhose. Society in general is more relaxed, informal, and approachable. A customer can write directly to a company president (and expect an answer!) So why write in a style that belongs to a bygone era? It makes sense to use a warmer, more conversational style that conveys a modern organization willing to move with the times.

That’s not to say that you’ll never want to use a formal, cooler tone. If a situation demands distance, whether because of the content of the message or for an audience that prefers an arms-length relationship, you always have that option. But let a plainer style dominate and you’ll warm up your relationships, convey a modern image, and continue to be the professional that you already are.

If you think using big words will impress, you are wrong.

Daniel Oppenheimer’s 2006 study “Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with using long words needlessly,” (which won the Ig Nobel Prize) concludes that people who use complicated language when simple words will do tend to be viewed as less intelligent than those who use a more basic vocabulary.

This doesn’t mean you should forget all those big words you know. “I think it’s important to point out that this study is not about problems with using long words, it’s about problems with using long words needlessly,” Oppenheimer explains. “If the best way to say something involves using a complex word, then by all means do so. But if there are several equally valid ways of expressing your ideas, you should go with the simpler one.”

Here is an example of two sentences used in the study. Readers were asked to rate the intelligence of each writer.

“The primary academic goal I have set for myself is to use my potential to the fullest.”

“The principal educational aspiration I have established for myself is to utilize my capabilities to the fullest.”

The results: When people read simpler language, they actually rate the author’s intelligence higher than they do those who write using large words and a more complex sentence structure. Oppenheimer suspects people link intelligence with simpler language because we like to read things that are easy to understand.

So if we see others who use simple language as more intelligent, why do so many feel they are demonstrating their own intelligence by using big words?

Sometimes our participants ask for a simple, concrete way to measure the readability of their writing. The Fog Index, below, is one such measurement tool. It was developed by Robert Gunning in the 1950s. Here’s how it works:

Find the average number of words per sentence. Use a sample of at least 100 words. Divide the total number of words by the number of sentences. This gives you the average sentence length.

Count the number of words of three syllables or more per 100 words. Don’t count

• Words that are capitalized
• Compound words made by combining short easy words, like bookkeeper
• Verbs that are made into three syllables by adding ed or es, like created or trespasses

Add the two figures above and multiply by 0.4. This will give you the Fog Index. It corresponds roughly with the years of schooling a person must have to read a passage with ease and understanding.

Please keep in mind that readability is about more than getting an appropriate score on your Fog Index. It also depends on

• knowing your reader’s prior knowledge and needs,
• creating a bond by choosing an appropriate tone, and
• reviewing what you write and seeing it from the reader’s point of view.

Gunning himself writes,

“You can’t make rules about writing, because rules are a substitute for thought – and you can’t write without thinking. Therefore, don’t try to write by formula alone….The way to write clearly is to apply principles, not rules, of clear statement.

by Jody Bruner

Here’s a tip that will dramatically improve your writing, especially when you are writing to a reader you don’t know  or to a large number of unknown readers.  In these situations, the message is often hard to understand because we tend to assume too much prior knowledge on the reader’s part and there is no personal connection.

The tip is simple–conjure up an ideal reader and write to that person. The writing will flow more easily and you will be more aware of the assumptions you make about the reader’s prior knowledge. Your message will be more easily understood and you will make a personal connection.

The best kind of ideal reader is someone you know, but who is not an expert in your field. I have two ideal readers, for different situations. My first reader is my neighbour Erin. She is a busy mom with three small girls. She is bright and has no time for beating around the bush. I think of Erin when I write emails or short letters. Picturing her in my mind helps me get to the point and explain everything clearly and concisely.

My second ideal reader is my friend Selma. Selma is an academic. I know she has a deep curiosity about just about everything and a great deal of patience. She is willing to dig deep into a topic, however technical it is. Selma is very smart, with very specialized knowledge. I know I have to be careful about assuming too much prior knowledge. I need to explain things thoroughly. I think of Selma when I need to write something technical or complex.

When you are writing to many readers, even thousands, it’s important to remember that each reader is an individual. Conjure up the face of your ideal reader and you’ll be amazed at how much easier it is to write and at how easy it is to strike a friendly, engaging tone.

Who is your ideal reader?

First of all, is there a meaningful difference between these words?

Assist means to give help or support, especially as a subordinate or supplement; aid: The clerk assisted the judge by looking up related precedents. Her breathing was assisted by a respirator. An assist is also a mechanical device providing aid.

Help is a synonym of assist without being associated with subordination or mechanical devices.

So, while they are mostly interchangeable, there is a small difference. In a strict sense, assistance implies a subordination of the assistant in a way that help does not.

Webster’s describes the difference in this way: “HELP carries a strong implication of advance toward an objective (every little bit helps)…. ASSIST distinctively imputes a secondary role to the assistant or a secondary character to the assistance (a deputy assists rather than aids his superior).”

I’m not a big fan of assist. In fact, it made our list of Ten Words We’d Like to See Less Of. People use assist in their business writing because they think it makes them sound professional. They believe assist shows more respect than help, that somehow help implies a degree of uselessness on the part of the person being helped.

But preferring assist to help out of deference to the reader is misguided and comes at too great a cost. Overall, the benefits of using help far outweigh the respectfulness of assist.

First of all, in 95% of business writing the subtle difference in meaning is lost. Okay I made that statistic up. Still, while assist points to the subordination of the assistant, using help is far from disrespectful.

Secondly, help is a more connective word, and if your purpose is to build or strengthen your relationship with your reader, help is the better, more conversational choice. Face to face you’re more likely to say, “Can I help you?” than “Can I assist you?” And I personally would much rather have your help than your assistance. Your helpfulness brings you closer to me and connects us on an human level. Assistance is more abstract and creates a distance between us.

Thirdly, the oldest words are always the best, and help is older than assist. Help comes from Old English, while assist is from Middle English via Old French and Latin.

Finally, the word assist often causes secondary problems when used by writers who adopt a formal style with the intention of sounding professional. Consider this sentence: “Easier access to productivity statistics would assist management in the monitoring of staff performance and the distribution of work.”

It’s turgid and bloated, full of noun phrases that weigh it down. It’s easy to lighten it by changing assist to help. With that tiny adjustment it becomes natural to turn the noun phrases (monitoring of staff performance, distribution of work) into verbs.

The sentence becomes ”Easier access to productivity statistics would help management monitor staff performance and distribute work.” Fewer words, more vigorous verbs and a more conversational tone. There’s no loss of meaning or respectfulness and it makes for a stronger sentence overall.

Please do your bit: Make the written world a warmer, livelier place by replacing assist with help whenever you can.