August ‘10 Writing Contest
This email is sick, and not in a good way. Its tone does nothing to encourage my compliance. Instead it makes me angry. Try rewriting it—make it positive, reader centred, friendly and persuasive.
Subject: Portable Signs
As you are all aware, portable signs are becoming the norm, yet this act stands in blatant contravention of the lease agreement. We are no longer willing to turn a bind eye to this total disregard of the rules and regulations set by the landlord.
We ask that all illegal signs be removed by September 15, 2010. Be aware that any signs found on the property after this date will be removed. All costs incurred in this exercise will be for the account of the offending party.
If you require a portable sign in the future, please contact Phil Roche at 555-1212. Phil will approve signs for a maximum period of two weeks. We remind all tenants that signage is still available on the building pylon sign.
Send your rewrite directly to me by email to jody@brunerbiz.com.
Good luck!
It is with regret that we advise you that beginning September 15 we will not be able to allow posting of portable signs on the property unless prior approval has been obtained from Phil Roche. You can contact him at 555-1212.
This has been a hard decision even though our policy has always been that prior approval should be obtained. we have not taken a hard stance on this. Unfortunately as the number of signs being posted has increased two-fold this has caused us to relook at how we do business. We take pride in the look of our property as I am sure you all do and therefore we appreciate your compliance.
On September 15 we will take responsibility for dismanteling any signs that have not had prior approval.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Management